NOT ROCK

Photo courtesy of www.brettmichaels.com

Not Rock, bad rock, how about you can’t rock. There is no way I can pass up this opportunity to make fun of the weave-wearing, past his prime, self-proclaimed “rocker” Bret Michaels. Broadway took him down. Actually, they almost beheaded him!

For the opening number of the 2009 Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall, Poison took the stage – that already sounds silly – to perform with the cast of Rock of Ages. They sang the 1988 classic, “Nothin’ But A Good Time” while chicks in corsets and stripper heels twirled. As their bit was coming to an end Michaels sang, “It don’t get better than this,” and a massive marquee that read Broadway came crashing down on his head – his feet flew up from underneath him, knocking him flat on his ass and his cowboy hat to the floor. Not that I find pleasure in other people’s pain and embarrassment, but it was just too funny!  Even funnier – the moment Michaels was guillotined, a sophisticated Stockard Channing for Pal Joey came out singing, “Oh, wow. Again.” It couldn’t have been planned.

Not sure if it was bad karma or a sign that it’s time for Michaels to retire – after three seasons of a grade D reality TV dating show which brought extreme attention to the fact that it is no longer 1988 and hair bands are not chicly retro. What’s up with the Tony’s thinking it’s okay to sandwich Poison between Elton John and Liza Minnelli? Cheesy, bad rock does not mix with classic, elegant show tunes.

by Genette Nowak

This video is sort of cruel, but just in case you missed it: