March 13, 2009
“So crack a bottle, let your body waddle. Don’t act like a snobby model. You just hit the lotto. Uh oh uh oh, bitches hopping in my Taho. Got one riding shotgun and no not one of them got clothes.”
Yes, it’s a recession, so all you can do these days is pony up enough flow for a bottle, crack it, and have your model friends come over for a light bacchanal. This is the economic stimulus package that Eminem is prescribing with his long-awaited fifth LP, Relapse.
Relapse was slated to be completed months ago, but producer Dr. Dre and Eminem got to rhyming and reasoning, and now the album has been delayed over six months and will be accompanied by a second disc of extra hits, titled Relapse 2.
“Crack A Bottle,” the first “chart-topping” single, rides a sample of familiar, cartoonish Slimshadyesque, limping, three-chord vaudevillian bomp. Dr. Dre and silky-throated 50 Cent trade off verses with Eminem. Topics covered: partying, crashing Benzes, and fucking bitches. No new territory here.
Will the new double album improve the image of Detroit? Will Em bury the hatchet with ex-wife Kim and litigious Mom? Does Eminem think we should give more money to AIG? Who knows!? But he thinks you should lick Fromunda cheese from under his nuts. Gross!
by Thomas Wilk