Premiere: Shark? Covers Beat Happening’s “Christmas”

Well, with a title like that, you don’t really have to imagine what this post is about. Brooklyn’s Shark? recorded a cover of Beat Happening’s stripped-down anti-classic Christmas song “Christmas” (which originally appeared on Beat Happening, the band’s 1985 debut). For those who haven’t heard its unpleasantness, here’s a stream of the original:

Shark?’s version adds instruments, which simultaneously defeats the original’s purpose, and makes it listenable. “I had sex on Christmas/ I had sex three times today” doesn’t really stuff my stocking full of gift cards the way imagining my father dressing up as Santa Claus in an ever-futile attempt to seduce my mother does, but hey, an anti-Christmas song is always appreciated. The original’s stark, tribal percussion is replaced by a pounding kick drum, and some lively jingle bells. This, with a stock surf rock bass line running over it, transforms Calvin Johnson’s isolated apathy into a raucous, bacchanal holiday rager. Yeah, doin’ it on Christmas! Getting’ hammered! Pour me some more eggnog, Aunt Carol, because I don’t want to remember this Christmas in the morning.

Shark? - “Christmas”

Shark?’s “Christmas” is part of Ear Farm’s Do you EAR what I EAR compilation, which features holiday tunes from the likes of Julie Doiron, Tom Tom Club, Sharon Van Etten, and Asobi Seksu. All proceeds go directly to the Association to Benefit Children. To learn more, and to buy the compilation, click here.

by Max Sebela